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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The old Jewish Christian tale Of: God and the Tuna Casserole for Two

The old Jewish Christian tale Of: God and the Tuna Casserole for Two
 by BTA
   There was an old religious, pious man that had lived his life modestly selling flood insurance to his church congregation in the mountains. He had amassed a huge fortune investing his community’s insurance payments, which he hoarded away to save for better days that only grew worse with age.  One day the old miser woke up dead in a field of clouds. In the distance of the cloud kingdom was a palace of stone, with two huge golden doors at its front. 
   The old man picked his dead self-up, and then proceeded to make his way towards the great palaces’ doors. After walking for what seemed like hours, he reached the entrance to the palace. The old man knocked on the gigantic golden doors with his frail old knuckles. There was no answer for a short while, but then a small ruckus could be heard behind the large, broad doors and finally, they opened up with an ongoing loud resounding creeeeeeeek! A short, bald portly old man with gray hair and an equally gray originally white robe, stood before the recently alive, but now dead, rich old man in the entryway of the enormous palace.
   “Can I help you?” The portly old bald man in the fading gray robe asked. “Why yes! I believe you can,” said the old dead man, “I am looking for God. I have come to reap my heavenly rewards for being a pure, pious Christian my entire life.” “Oh! Well, eh, welcome,” said the man in the used-to-be-white, but now-is-obviously-going-dirty-gray robe. “Come in, my dear fellow, I wasn’t expecting anyone,” he said, “I am your lord God!”
   The Lord God led the old pious miser to a great hall and told him to sit and make himself comfortable for a great feast that is to be made in the righteous dead old man’s honor.  Hours went by, while the pious old man sat in the spacious grand eating hall, filled with empty rows of dusty old tables and chairs, wondering when the others would start coming into the dining area for his honorary feast. Eventually, the Lord God tottered into the vast hall holding a smoldering square Corningware pot, which he hurriedly placed upon the table in front of the good Christian. “What is this before me? The old rich recently dead man asked God.” God Replied – Tuna Casserole. “Tuna Casserole! - The old dead man said in surprise - But where is My Honorary Feast? He loudly exclaimed” - “Stop shouting at me, God said, with a noticeable tear in his eye, it’s not easy cooking a celebration meal for two!”
The Moral of this Religious Story: Live your life not for the promises of rewards in heaven, nor riches on earth, but for the simple rewards of a good life, earned both along the way, and in the afterlife.