Face-chewer had munchies, say authorities.

    Rudy Eugene

     The toxicology report has come back on the cannibalistic Florida man, Rudy Eugene, that was shot dead by police after being caught eating a homeless man’s face off on the side of the  road. This story seemed like it was straight out of several gruesome zombie movies that I can think of, and when the assailant looked at police and growled menacingly towards them when ordered to stop eating the poor victim, the police did what anyone who has ever seen a zombie flick would do, they opened fire on the maniac killing him.

     The obvious culprit besides the face–chewer as he has been nick-named was thought to be the newest and most dangerous drug concoction called “Bath Salts”.  To the surprise of most experts and law enforcement officials, the only drug in the fiends system was marijuana.  Now of course, this will naturally open up all sorts of new socially hysterical assumptions and reefer madness type propaganda campaigns by people who’ve never smoked a joint in their lives. They will now be spouting all over the internet how marijuana turns its users into flesh eating zombies.

     Dr. Patricia Junquera, assistant professor at the department of psychiatry at the University of Miami  Miller School of Medicine has already been quoted as suggesting that if the assailant had a mental disorder,” The marijuana could have increased even further the dopamine levels and aggravated the situation”. The trouble with using that statement in my opinion is saying could have, maybe have, in an authoritative and all-knowing fact filled way, instead of saying there is a slim chance that marijuana had anything to do with this. Sex, food, vitamins, and exercise along with other drugs all boost the production of dopamine in the brain. The amount of pot someone would have to smoke to raise dopamine levels that high would put most sane or crazy people on the couch with Netflix and a bag of potato chips for the night, not roaming the streets like a crazed animal looking for human flesh to feed on.

     Who knows what really triggered this nut to do such a ghastly and terrible thing. This case opens up so many unanswered questions; number one being what turns a seemingly normal human being into a flesh eating zombie at the drop of a hat? Number two would be, does anybody really get the munchies that bad after smoking a little weed?